Douche McWilliams Worldwide

How far we goin back? 2003. oh.... 6/27/2009

2009-06-18T16:58:00.002-04:00

SCHOOL'S OUT!! 6/19/2009

2009-06-18T16:57:00.001-04:00

Instant Douche

2009-06-12T11:11:00.003-04:00

I thought about a lawsuit but I was too blown away.

PUSH THE BUTTON

dumhi- better than Sunday.. i am dumhi too (a FREEMIX)

2009-06-12T10:57:00.002-04:00

the dudes from dumhi got some new shit.. and it's FREE! Check it out... or Haj will come to your house at 10 am on Saturday morning with two bottles of champagne, a carton of orange juice, and make you get drunk before noon. I've seen it done.

DOWNLOAD OR STREAM HERE

Piven - The Anti-Douche

2009-06-12T10:41:00.001-04:00

Yeah he smokes weed with Snoop. Mind your business.

Douche of the Week

2009-06-12T10:34:00.002-04:00

Its looks like the party planning committee shit the bed this week when 215hiphop.com fell to a malware infection... So with no other introduction, let me give you..

You know who he is...

King and The Cauze 6/14/2009

2009-06-12T09:41:00.003-04:00

Relapse!

2009-06-05T09:40:00.004-04:00

Good. Entertaining. Funny.

Only guest spots: Dr Dre and 50 Cent.

Dre's beats bang. Eminem's 36 and he raps about getting raped by his stepdad, jerking off to Hannah Montana, how much his mom eats pills, and does a terribly hilarious Christopher Reeves impression all while naming every pill he could possibly get his hands on (and not in "Hey kids! Don't do drugs!" kinda way)...

In order of appearance:

Klonopin

Vicodin

Valium

Xanax

Lithium

Tylenol 3

Percodan

Flexerall

Paxil

Seroquel

Zantac

Ecstacy

Lunesta

Creatine

Ambien

Methadone

Hydrocodone

Oxycontin

.... Shady's back

Instant Douche/Douche of the Week

2009-03-25T16:25:00.005-04:00

Flip somebody off with the additional ringfinger (a.k.a - "Su-Fi)

VOILA!

Instant Douche.
This is a first, but yeah... Dane Cook you're douche of the week as well.

Douche of the Week

2009-02-09T13:12:00.002-05:00

Christian Bale. After going off on an awesome rant on the set of Terminator 4 that was all over the internet last week, he apologized. I mean, if you're going to be a douche, be a douche. Now you're just Douche of the Week. "Fuckin ass!" - (in Christian Bale's whiney British accent)

Instant Douche

2009-02-09T13:10:00.001-05:00

Get in your car and put this on.

VOILA!!

Instant Douche.

Dinner is Served...

2009-02-09T12:34:00.006-05:00

The Godfather II, Eddie Murphy Raw, and South Philly. I like that stuff. If you don't like that stuff, you must be a douche. Nico the Beast's "Dinner is Served" mixtape has all that shit and more.

Lots of features (Reef the Lost Cauze, Planetary, Side Effect, etc...)
Beats .... Stress, Zilla Rocca, Techknowledgy, Noochman, etc...

Click the picture - FREE Download.

www.myspace.com/nicothebeast
http://www.beatgardenentertainment.com/
http://www.yadibox.com/
http://www.clapcowards.com/
http://www.nexmillenmusic.com/

Douche of the Week

2009-02-06T11:29:00.002-05:00

Andy Dick. What a dick. What a douche. Jon Lovitz kicked his ass. Jimmy Kimmel had him taken off of his show live on TV by security for touching Ivanka Trump. He gets coked up and exposes himself to minors. His show on MTV sucked. He's not funny. He sucks. Good luck in the sober house, douche.

The Douche Blueprint

2009-01-29T12:12:00.002-05:00

Douche of the Week

2009-01-22T14:03:00.002-05:00

Hey Buuuuuuuuuuuuuddy. You're a douche.

Douche News 1/16/2009

2009-01-16T12:33:00.003-05:00

After the launch of the Douche McWilliams Worldwide myspace page, the douchebags have just been flying in left and right. Check it out. Read the comments, make a friend request, leave a comment, put us on your top friends!

Also be sure to check out these "non-douche" events.

Click on the image for more information.

Seriously...

2009-01-16T11:19:00.003-05:00

You mean to tell me Cardinals fans really exist?

Instant Douche

2009-01-16T09:21:00.002-05:00

Put one of these* on.

VOILA!

Instant Douche.

* This is a visor. Wearing a visor in any color, size, with sport team logo or with brand of beer, will result in being a douche.

Old School Friday

2009-01-16T09:17:00.001-05:00

Is this old school yet? "When you awaken, your manhood'll be taken."

ya momma...

2009-01-14T16:44:00.001-05:00

shes on crack rock...

Douche of the Week

2009-01-13T09:01:00.003-05:00

Eeeeetheerrrrr booooooyyy!

2009-01-12T19:45:00.001-05:00

ok... we fuckin get it... you produced "Ether".... now shut the fuck up and give T Pain his auto tune back...
no homo?

no excuses...

2009-01-12T17:26:00.001-05:00

Jimmy lookin kinda smitten there...

Instant Douche

2009-01-08T15:46:00.003-05:00

Walk through this door

VOILA!

Instant Douche.

*Two Exceptions* - You're buying something for your girl, or trying to pick one up inside. If not,

VOILA!

Instant Douche.

Modern Day Douche

2009-01-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

The picture should say it all. But it doesn't. Oh my.

Douche McWilliams is now on MySpace!

2009-01-07T13:43:00.002-05:00

Now you can add Douche McWilliams Worldwide as a friend on MySpace! Put us on your Top Friends, add a comment, etc. Got a douche problem? Let us know. We'll be glad to address it. Spread the word!

myspace.com/whowantstobeadouche

Age aint nothin but a number?

2009-01-07T10:41:00.003-05:00

Now she dont look 18 to me, but that ass says 23 at least... and if she storms into your bedroom naked askin to get dicked down, you'd rip it... dont lie...
The law of consent in the UK and Australia (and other countries) is 16, and judging by the amount of ass in this damn country, we need to follow suit...
Not that im that old, but still... as J Zone once said:
"But she could pass for 24 so I'm on it with a stroke
But I'm tortured by visions of me droppin the soap"
Amen.

Now bumpin: J Zone's "Jailbait Jennifer"

Baaaaad Douche....Come Out and Plaaaaayy

2009-01-06T19:03:00.005-05:00

Back when rap was rap and douche was douche, my God how the line has blurred between the two since then. Peep perennial douchebag Puffy singin the hook and the lack of the real Preem beat. From themeaningofdope.com.

WOOOOOO!

2009-01-06T16:12:00.007-05:00

Is Fiddy doing a "Rock" impersonation? I'd buy a Nature Boy album before a 50 one that's fasho.

I'll probabaly never visit Pittsburgh.

2009-01-06T14:20:00.000-05:00

The God Douche

2009-01-06T13:44:00.005-05:00

Every douche has a role model... and that role model's role model is Tucker Max, who wrote I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell...
If you consider yourself a true douche (or a follower and disciple of Doucheology) then you better fuckin read this classic piece of work.

Here's a lil preview from the book, a short story from the blowjob chapter:

"High school was the first time I realized that blow jobs would be a painful pleasure. I was dating a girl from another school in my area. Besides being one of the hottest girls I've ever known, she was also one of the very first girls to give me head. We were both new at it, and she liked me to courtesy tap. This was because I had convinced her that--I'm not making this up--it wasn't "real" oral sex as long as I didn't come in her mouth. Aren't 17 year old girls funny?

The first few dozen times she went down on me I courtesy tapped just like she asked. One time we were in my car, parked right out front of her house because I was dropping her off after a date. Instead of a kiss goodnight, I suggested she blow me goodnight. She thought this was a brilliant idea.

I quickly got carried away with the risk and thrill of having her suck my dick twenty yards away from her house where her father, who I hated, was waiting for her to come home. I was lost in the sexual ecstasy of the dangerous youthful blowjob when I heard her let out a little yelp. She immediately sat up, her mouth half open, full of splooge, the excess dripping off her chin, and uttered a muffled,

"You asshole!"

Then she spit the come all over my face. Sprayed it all over me.

I was still recovering from getting my own jism spat into my own face as she jumped out of my car and sprinted into her house. I quickly drove off. I had no desire to face her rifle-wielding father with my face covered in her spit and my sperm.

Once I was out of imminent danger, I couldn't help but laugh, even though I had no idea that this would only be the first in a long line of strange blowjob incidents."

This story is MILD compared to how sick the rest of the book is... trust me... go buy (or download, i dont really give a fuck)

Instant Douche (Part 2 of 2)

2009-01-06T11:23:00.001-05:00

Repeat after me:

"I'm bringing sexy back."

VOILA!

Instant Douche.

WOOT!

2009-01-06T10:56:00.006-05:00

If you don't know http://www.woot.com/ we suggest getting familiar with it. Check the link on the left. We may be douchebags, but we enjoy a good deal.

2009-01-06T09:48:00.000-05:00

So what happened to the dude sitting behind Jay?

Instant Douche (Part 1 of 2)

2009-01-06T09:43:00.001-05:00

Purchase any one of this man's albums.

VOILA!

Instant Douche.

Douche of the Week

2009-01-05T09:27:00.000-05:00

R.I.P. "Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve."

I'd rather see Dick Clark do his best rendition of "Weekend at Bernie's" other than this guy on New Year's.

Did anybody else hear that Larry King said something about him wanting this waste of douche to take his place when he retires?

Token

2009-01-04T07:44:00.000-05:00

This guy has the right idea.

What's The Equation For Circumference?

2009-01-04T07:33:00.019-05:00

Einstein seems to be calculating the circumference of that ass. The man's a fucking genius!

Douchebag with the herringbone and dumbfounded look is actually ok in my book. Similar to the douchebag sitting in the row in front of you at the Eagles game who you give awkward drunken high 5's to when the Eagles score. It's OK because you are both celebrating a glorious occassion.

In this case, Jenny From Da Block's ass.

Smash Or Not?

2009-01-02T13:30:00.001-05:00

Douche just isn't the word....

2009-01-02T12:31:00.000-05:00

This fuckin dude. Do you know who he is? Let me tell you about him.

This is Carmine Agnello Jr. But since he's a douche and I guess his real father wasn't cool enough, he calls himself Carmine Gotti. Gotti is his mother's maiden name. His grandfather is the famous "Teflon Don" John Gotti. Ok, so what's my problem with him? Honestly, I regret even bringing this dude up in conversation on this post just because he deserves no outlet or advertisement of any kind whatsoever, anywhere, for being such a douche.

First, let me be the first to tell you that Carmine is a rapper. C Gotti to be correct. He's signed to Ruff Ryders. Yep, for real. His song (feat. Tony Sunshine) is called, "I'm Young, Hot, and Rich." It should be called, "I'm a Douche, Disgrace to my father's name, and I look like a bitch." Because that would be "keeping it real."

Another thing that grinds my gears is when I saw his myspace page, (again sorry for even giving him this much advertisement) it says "FREE JOHN GOTTI" on it. Wouldn't you think that since that was his grandfather, he would be aware of the fact that the man is dead? He died in jail in 2002 from cancer. We can't free him anymore Carmine. He's dead.

Before "C Gotti" happened, the name "Gotti" meant "The Dapper Don" or "The Teflon Don" - a man who took no shit from anybody, dressed himself in $5,000 suits for the fuck of it, and couldn't be stopped by the authorities until he got ratted out.

Now, when we hear the name "Gotti," we think of douchebags with spiky gelled hair and fake tans that drink Heineken and Jager-Bombs all night while hogging all the fine pussy. We hate you.

The best part about this whole thing though, is that his grandfather didn't like him either.

Old School Friday

2009-01-02T11:47:00.001-05:00

Def Squad - El Nino

This is in my top ten. I remember stealing this from Circuit City across from the Roosevelt Mall years ago. I wish they would've made another album soon after this but that never happened.

Redman - "Check out the only crew who makes the power moves, whoever's next on the mic, wear shower shoes..."

Redman, Erick Sermon, and Keith Murray are three rappers that can say the simplest rhyme and make it sound retarded.

I don't think we'll be hearing anything from them as a whole anytime soon, but at least we're supposed to get Blackout 2 this year.

Side Effect - 2020

2009-01-02T10:08:00.000-05:00

Krush Unit artist Side Effect is dropping his new album soon "The Bangologist"

Here's something to "wet your beak" Side Effect 2020

This shit is fire.

produced by Stress

photo by Snapkracker

Hopefully Cowboys Fans Got Bucked

2008-12-31T13:48:00.000-05:00

A report out of Cordova, Md., indicates that some football fans took the game too far. Two men are being held without bond for a shooting steeming from an argument about the Eagles-Dallas game.

According to the Star Democrat, of Easton, Md., Damian Joseph Alexander, 28, and Shane Austin Ratliff, 19, face two counts each of attempted first- and second-degree murder, four counts each of reckless endangerment and first- and second-degree assault and one count each of malicious destruction of property more than $500. Ratliff also faces five counts of accessory after the fact.
Witnesses told police Alexander shot at least five rounds from a shotgun at four people in a sport utility vehicle, the newspaper says. Shotgun pellets hit two of the occupants, causing minor injuries.

Smash Or Not?

2008-12-31T13:09:00.001-05:00

New Years

2008-12-31T12:38:00.001-05:00

T.I. - Paper Trail

2008-12-31T11:07:00.001-05:00

Not a bad album. I cant really get into it enough to bang it in the car, but it works for house parties. Also, Just One likes it! Need I say more?

Douche of the Week

2008-12-31T10:50:00.001-05:00

Get a load of this douche. He's the Dallas Cowboys star quarterback and he dates Jessica Simpson. So? Being a Cowboy makes you even more of a douche. What about dating Jessica Simpson? That doesn't make you any less of a douche either. Sorry Tone, there no way around it. You're a douche. See you in the playoffs. Oh wait, no we won't HAHAHAHAHAHA

Instant Douche

2008-12-30T22:03:00.001-05:00

Put these on your face.

VOILA!

Instant douche.

Step Your Game Up

2008-12-30T15:22:00.000-05:00

Interested?

you can also contact beskeptent@gmail.com for info.

Fuck You SEPTA

2008-12-30T14:48:00.000-05:00

Believe me, they know. They know that no matter how ignorant they are to you, the customer, you will always come back. And you will. Septa employees are the biggest gang in Philadelphia and the whole Southeastern Pennsylvania area. They run shit. Literally.

"You're not going to pay us what we want? Fine. Walk to work."

That's just the tip of the iceberg. Now that Septa employees have what they want financially, they still do not give a shit about how their customers are being taken care of.

Fuck you SEPTA.

DUMHI - YOGA AT HOME VOL. 1

2008-12-30T13:10:00.001-05:00

Buy this shit.
Haj did the beats.
Reef, Doap Nixon, and Sadat X rap on it.

http://www.undergroundhiphop.com/store/detail.asp?UPC=DUMHAJ001CD
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001BOSDQM?ie=UTF8&child=B001BOQLXO

Here's a review.
http://www.rapreviews.com/archive/2008_11_yogaathomev1.html

Don't sleep.

The Golden Rule of Bluetooth

2008-12-30T12:41:00.001-05:00

You know, that thing that makes you think that people are talking to themselves on the street. That dumb looking thing that douchebags wear in their ear. That thing that makes you look like this guy from Star Wars.

Let me break it down for you.

The only 3 times wearing a Bluetooth (or DoucheTooth if you will)is acceptable:

1. Driving a car

2. Shoveling snow

3. At home where no one else can see you.

If you wear it any other time, you my friend, are a douche.

Whats the Difference?

2008-12-30T12:08:00.000-05:00

I'm actually having trouble figuring that out for myself...

Evidence - The Layover EP

2008-12-30T11:50:00.000-05:00

The stoned white guy from Dilated Peoples has a new EP. It's good tunes.

Who am I?

2008-12-30T11:26:00.000-05:00

Hi I'm Douche McWilliams. I like rap music. Welcome to my blog.